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Featured: Planning – How to get your family involved in your wedding ?

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A few months ago I talked about Mumzilla, where I talked about how you can avoid too much interference in your wedding. You can go back and read it here if you would like to. This week however I want But what if you are at the other end of the spectrum? How to get your family involved. This if for those of you having trouble getting anyone to take an interest in your wedding at all? Sometimes it can seem like people just aren’t as interested in your wedding as you think they really should be here is how to politely get them to step up.

Firstly take a quick look at yourself… Could you be expecting too much of these people?

Does it really matter to your Bridesmaid’s or your Mum whether you have a lace or a satin dress? Of course you would like them to give an opinion, But to them, as long as you are happy with your choice, that’s all that matters.

Or asking your Groom to be “baby pink” or “crushed rose” for the colour of the Bridesmaids dresses? What he hears is “this pink dress or this other pink dress?” I know that’s not true for all grooms before you all say it. but the colour of the dresses for your sister/friends for the most part isn’t going to be a big concern for him them however it will be a concern, which leads me on to.

Ask the right people..

So you and your mum have completely different ideas about fashion? So you probably aren’t going to agree on a wedding dress, Maybe ask your Maid of Honour to go dress shopping, at least in the initial stages. Then take your mum along once you have a firm idea of what you want and aren’t so likely to get emotional if she doesn’t like your choice.

then

Ask people to do things that play to their interests or talents.

Graham for instance, is never in a million years going to care what my bridesmaids are wearing or about which types of flowers we should have. However, give him something he can do online or in a desk top publisher then he is all ears.

so rather than drag around your other half, do you have a bridesmaid who is a total fashionesta? As her to help pick out the dresses for the girls and defiantly as her for her opinion on your dress.

Or perhaps you have a paper crafter in the family? Ask them to help with picking invites and orders of service.

 

But sometimes you need the people who are there then, to give you actual options right? So how do you ask them to speak up?

I think we can safely say if you have included these people in the wedding preparations, then you are pretty close to them no matter who they are, this can be a two sided problem and you need to keep in mind that firstly. You want them to be honest with you and so you think that because they are close, they will give you an honest opinion. but also they are close to you and know that your wedding is a big deal so, they don’t want to say anything that will offend or upset you. Here are a few tips on how to overcome this conversational stumbling block.

For instance if you have your heart set on something and have pretty much decided on it you might want to lead the question that way..

A – “I really love X for the wedding, I have spoken to Vendor X and they are fantastic and can do it for a really good price, isn’t it just brilliant?”

rather than

B- “What do you think of X?

Which can leave people thinking that you want them to tell you not to do it.

 

But if you want someone’s actual opinion then you need to make it clear for instance

 

A – I’m really not sure about X what do you think I would really like your opinion on this I’m really struggling with it?

rather than

B- “What do you think of X?

Which might in this case lead them to think you just want them to confirm your choice.

 

In both cases if you phrase the question so the person can judge your motive for asking, you are more likely get the response you want.

Its back to the age old adage of – Tell me in the shop you don’t like the dress, when I have the opportunity NOT to buy it. Once I have it at home, every time I pull it out to wear, you need to agree that it’s cute!

And if all else fails…

There are plenty of wedding blogs out there with forum full of girls who will be more than happy to help you along your decision making way, here are a couple of my favorites. Offbeat Bride TribeYou and Your Wedding.co.uk forum Big Day.co.uk forum The knot forum.

 

 

 

About GRAHAM

Graham Crichton is an award winning professional wedding & portrait photographer based in Belfast, Northern Ireland. With 10 years of experience and having photographed hundreds of weddings he has photographed weddings all over Ireland, the UK and abroad.

About HANNAH

Hannah Crichton is the principal photographic assistant, blogger and studio manager (and other half of Graham Crichton Photography). Hannah and Graham recently married themselves in Ynysybwl, Wales, where Hannah is originally from. Hannah loves “everything wedding"!

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